Am I Crazy?

Just over a year ago, my friend Melissa and I ran our first (and only) half marathon…it was great. I have never been a runner. I’ve always aspired to be a runner. I accomplished this and promptly quit running. That’s what everyone is supposed to do, isn’t it? Accomplish a task, a goal, a potentially life-changing endeavor, and then forget that it had happened?

I did. I gained back a lot of the weight I had lost, I focused on anything I could other than exercising, ate what I wanted, and neglected myself. And, perhaps it’s what I needed to do. Running was great, but I also put a lot of stress on my body (with other life things happening as well) and I lost my hair. Work was frustrating. There were a couple days when I went to bed at 6 p.m. because I was hurting.

But then winter left. And I’m trying to change my habits. And, now I’ve been presented with an opportunity to truly change my habits and make them what I want them to be. I am poised for success and ready to make some life changes before 30 strikes (I’ve got around 350 days to make that happen).

Last week I was at a conference in San Francisco. And then I got the Facebook wall post. Something along the lines of “Half Marathon October 16. You in?” I sat in my next session thinking, I haven’t ran in a year. I’ve meant to, but I haven’t followed through. I almost let the idea that I’m not a runner talk me out of thinking about running. Ridiculous. Then I remembered, I felt good when I was running 4-6 miles consistently. I’ve had good intentions and haven’t followed through on them. I want to be different than who I am.

So, I might run the half marathon and I might not. I am, however, going to train as though I am going to run it because I know that no matter what, I need to be focused towards something. Thus, this morning I woke up early. I put on my running shoes and pulled out my iPod. I started at the beginning, all the while wondering why I let myself not run. And I jogged, walked, jogged, walked, and started the Couch-to-5K all over again. Yet, it is a start. And I can’t change my life without taking action. So, here we go again…

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